Disease
This page is a humorous look at some of the areas that many people you know and even you and I may or may not have strayed!

Do not, whatever you do learn anything useful like a skill, because someone like you will easily get by on their looks and charm alone. Repeat after me ‘Skills are for boring dumb asses’.

Forget self-discipline, that is for losers and you are far too smart for all that stuff because you have, all by yourself, discovered that the secret to life is complete self-indulgence.

Never take any responsibility, how can you because you never do anything wrong. All that bad stuff you live with is someone else’s fault, am I right or am I right?

Always criticise and be ungrateful because nothing is good enough for you. Repeat after me ‘I am a little Prince/Princess and as such it is my birthright to be given only the best because I am better than everyone else’.

Be envious, because only you deserve what they have.

Treat people who are good to you badly because it is fun and really easy.

Make people feel small and worthless, after all that is the fast track to feeling big and who cares about anyone else.

Use alcohol and drugs freely, hey! Why not, after all you look so cool and you always have your very best ideas when you are stoned.

Never save money, that is just a waste of time as it is much smarter to spend it on something much more practical and useful, like drugs and alcohol.

Be a smart ass, be Mr/Mrs ‘I told you so’ and keep practicing those cutting insults.

Point out your partners and your children’s imperfections in public, they secretly love it and besides it really works as they will love so much more.

Compare your lover to past lovers because your past lovers were so much better and even if not your present lover will just love those old intimate stories.

Your lover is your punch bag, it is all part of their job description so, why go out and buy a proper punch bag from a sports shop?

Always be moody, that way you can easily keep people guessing and on their toes plus you will always be the centre of attention.

Always look your worst as your natural beauty and sex appeal will shine through.

When things start to go well, finish it with a fight. This is brilliant because you will always be the centre of attention

Forget about tomorrow, somehow it will all work out just great.

Do not be afraid to get into serious debt because after all it is some loser’s money and besides you just know that you deserve all the fine things in life handed to you on a plate.

Believe that you can borrow your way out of any problem. Yeh! Get some loser to sort it out for you, no problem.

Date someone who is a nutter or someone who wants to live beyond their means and then marry them.

Never, never take advise from experts and anyone older and wiser than you, because when it comes down to it, who is cleverer than you?

Eat as much as you want, of whatever you want, whenever you want because that will keep you healthy.

Never get off the sofa because everything that is good will find its way to you.